Destiny

Do we have choice in how our lives turn out? Or is it all decided by a higher being before we are even born?
Are we capable of making choices that are the reason for our happiness/ unhappiness, our success or failure , our sense of purpose or failure to live up to our potential?
A friend said once, if we ask God , he will give us what we need. This can't be true all the time. We may want something we can't have , or that God deems will not bring us happiness, or that we don't deserve . Not our will but his after all.
In my despair I look for answers to how my life has turned out. At 51 you would think I had it all worked out by now. No chance.
All I know is it can only get better.