As you get older it is hard not to look back on your life and ponder on what might have been.
I wish I had travelled more and explored the world for longer than a 2 week package holiday.
I wish I had taken more risks and not jumped at the first job that came my way.
I think in many ways so much has passed me by.
I still have a 'wish list ' of things I would like to do before my life is over, but I guess the older you get the less chance everyone has of making those wishes become a reality.
Heres wishing:
I would love to ride in a helicopter.
I would love to be brave enough to go on a scary rollercoaster, just once!
I dream of singing to more than just the congregation at church
I would love to travel to south America and enjoy carnival time in Brazil.
I want to go to Iona and Holy Island
I would like to go and visit the boy I sponsor in Uganda
I would love to learn to water ski
I would love to go island hopping in Scotland
I would love to be somewhere hot on Christmas Day and not have to worry about pleasing anyone else but me for just one year.
I would love to drive an Aston Martin for a day
Just a few of my wish list ideas.
We can all dream..............
Wednesday, 27 January 2010
feeding the soul
We all need time to feed the soul.
Not wasting time on mindless activity to pass the time but actively looking for ways to be fed spiritually.
Some do it by sitting in silence to recharge, or taking a walk in the country on a crisp winters day, or reading some new book to inspire, or praying, or simply learning to 'be' .
In order to feed the soul it is important to challenge and learn and grow, sometimes with others but also alone. The key is never to stand still.
If we do nothing we stop learning.
If we stop learning we stop growing.
So take time today to feed your soul.
Tomorrow you will be stronger and richer for it.
Go on, give it a go.
Sunday, 24 January 2010
People
What gives some people the right to feel more superior than others?
Or to feel they have more to give to the world?
Surely the worth of one human being cannot be defined simply by status or job title by wealth or years or intelligence or exams or any of the above?
We should all feel we are equal - indeed we are in God's eyes.
I hate it when people look down their nose at me, or talk to me with disdain, or disrespect me. Or ignore me. Or who are rude and insulting to me. Or who make me feel smaller than I already am.
We all deserve respect.
The people I most respect and admire are those who are not in a well paid job with a flash car and big house . My friends are genuine caring people who would doubtless give me their last penny.
Above all, they do not judge me or look down their nose at me or make me feel worthless, or unimportant.
And I would be lost without them.
Or to feel they have more to give to the world?
Surely the worth of one human being cannot be defined simply by status or job title by wealth or years or intelligence or exams or any of the above?
We should all feel we are equal - indeed we are in God's eyes.
I hate it when people look down their nose at me, or talk to me with disdain, or disrespect me. Or ignore me. Or who are rude and insulting to me. Or who make me feel smaller than I already am.
We all deserve respect.
The people I most respect and admire are those who are not in a well paid job with a flash car and big house . My friends are genuine caring people who would doubtless give me their last penny.
Above all, they do not judge me or look down their nose at me or make me feel worthless, or unimportant.
And I would be lost without them.
journeying
Today I went to see my mum.
I journeyed to the bird box in the cold rain on a dank January sunday afternoon. When I got there it was still raining. There was noone about. I changed into boots put up an umbrella and began walking. As I walked I talked to my mum.
'mum' i said' I haven't been here in a while and I am sorry. I meant to come before now, on your birthday. But then I couldn't bring myself to. I meant to come at christmas, but I coudn't bring myself to, so I am here now.
The seasons changed since I was here last but the place still looks the same. Your tree stands tall and proud and your bird box looks happy where it is. I hope new families of birds have brought new life.
I know you are not here , and have long gone from this place.But you remain in my heart and everyone else's who was lucky enough to know you. Gone but never forgotten .
As the rain fell, so did my tears.
I journeyed to the bird box in the cold rain on a dank January sunday afternoon. When I got there it was still raining. There was noone about. I changed into boots put up an umbrella and began walking. As I walked I talked to my mum.
'mum' i said' I haven't been here in a while and I am sorry. I meant to come before now, on your birthday. But then I couldn't bring myself to. I meant to come at christmas, but I coudn't bring myself to, so I am here now.
The seasons changed since I was here last but the place still looks the same. Your tree stands tall and proud and your bird box looks happy where it is. I hope new families of birds have brought new life.
I know you are not here , and have long gone from this place.But you remain in my heart and everyone else's who was lucky enough to know you. Gone but never forgotten .
As the rain fell, so did my tears.
Saturday, 16 January 2010
Shoes
All too often we spend too much time thinking about our own little worlds , our own problems and sometimes, just sometimes, we all need reminding how very very lucky we are.
It is all relative of course.
But this week having seen the terrible situation on Haiti and the sheer scale of the disaster, it is hard to imagine a worse place to be right now.
I would not like to be in their shoes.
We had a disaster at church. Vandals trashed the place.
My uncle is battling cancer.
My step dad is still wallowing in grief.
I hate my stressful,badly paid job.
My son has no friends and is turning into a recluse.
We have real money worries.
But nothing compares to Haiti.
The pictures of Haiti fill my soul with despair and frustration. As we look on helplessly, the world tries to respond, not quickly enough , to help the people trapped, injured, dying, hungry, homeless. All too late, too late.
Tonight, as I sit in my centrally heated house, I give thanks for my life and realise how lucky and blessed I am. And I do the only thing I can at this time - pray.
It is all relative of course.
But this week having seen the terrible situation on Haiti and the sheer scale of the disaster, it is hard to imagine a worse place to be right now.
I would not like to be in their shoes.
We had a disaster at church. Vandals trashed the place.
My uncle is battling cancer.
My step dad is still wallowing in grief.
I hate my stressful,badly paid job.
My son has no friends and is turning into a recluse.
We have real money worries.
But nothing compares to Haiti.
The pictures of Haiti fill my soul with despair and frustration. As we look on helplessly, the world tries to respond, not quickly enough , to help the people trapped, injured, dying, hungry, homeless. All too late, too late.
Tonight, as I sit in my centrally heated house, I give thanks for my life and realise how lucky and blessed I am. And I do the only thing I can at this time - pray.
Sunday, 3 January 2010
Life
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath
away.
away.
Saturday, 2 January 2010
Friends
How do you define a friend? What makes a friend?
For me a friend is someone who is reliable, who is loyal, who is caring not overpowering, who walks beside me in my pain, who makes me smile again.
I need real friends in my life. Not fair weather friends . Not friends that drain me, or can't be straight with me, or who ditch me for a better offer. Or who lean on me in times of pain and then are off again.
I think real friends are hard to come by. I don't have many.
But I am grateful for the ones I have.
For me a friend is someone who is reliable, who is loyal, who is caring not overpowering, who walks beside me in my pain, who makes me smile again.
I need real friends in my life. Not fair weather friends . Not friends that drain me, or can't be straight with me, or who ditch me for a better offer. Or who lean on me in times of pain and then are off again.
I think real friends are hard to come by. I don't have many.
But I am grateful for the ones I have.
Friday, 1 January 2010
Happy New Year !
Well it's 2010 and I have begun the year as I mean to go on- tidying out my life.
I have decided to 'declutter' my life of not just things but also people .Of habits too.
I want to rediscover who I am and at the age of 51,try to redefine myself. A soon to be single parent .
Christmas was relatively painless apart from Christmas Day, when it wasn't my husband i missed most, but my mum. I was the only female in the house and felt it . But my dad did a great job of entertaining and worked very hard. I did help but was glad when it was all over. But the focus wasn't there because I couldn't get to church . I missed God in it all. The only glimpse I got of Him was on Christmas morning when the sun rose. And the Son of man was born.
So here I am, wading through the life I had and deciding, however painful the process, what I will keep and what I will dispose of. Its a catharthic feeling, and a necessary experience, and in it all the tears keep falling as they must. Part of the healing.
Must go,work to be done.
I have decided to 'declutter' my life of not just things but also people .Of habits too.
I want to rediscover who I am and at the age of 51,try to redefine myself. A soon to be single parent .
Christmas was relatively painless apart from Christmas Day, when it wasn't my husband i missed most, but my mum. I was the only female in the house and felt it . But my dad did a great job of entertaining and worked very hard. I did help but was glad when it was all over. But the focus wasn't there because I couldn't get to church . I missed God in it all. The only glimpse I got of Him was on Christmas morning when the sun rose. And the Son of man was born.
So here I am, wading through the life I had and deciding, however painful the process, what I will keep and what I will dispose of. Its a catharthic feeling, and a necessary experience, and in it all the tears keep falling as they must. Part of the healing.
Must go,work to be done.
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