Sacrifice

I realized how hard it is to be a woman.
Well, a mum to be exact.
Men do not need to be anything other than a man, a husband and a work person.
A woman has to constantly redefine herself as the years pass by and her roles change.
A career woman has a role which is easy to play.
Once she becomes a mother, she inevitably has to juggle motherhood and career, often having to change the job she did in order to give more time for her child.
In my case, I gave up my job altogether and spent quality time with my child , who deserved all of my attention, given the huge fight he endured to stay in this world.

I don't regret a thing.
I just realize how hard it is to constantly face having to redefine ourselves .
Going back to work after so many years being a mum was never going to be easy.
But status and experience mean little when you have been out of the loop for so long.
The harsh reality of work means having to compromise. A low paid job, a lower grade job, a part time job, a local job, a boring mundane but pays the bills job.
A stressful badly paid, please get me out of here job.

Living with this new role is never easy.
Not when you were somebody and are now a nobody.
When you are having to start at the bottom again, and be comfortable in your own skin.
I am not - I have to escape and find something which is more meaningful and rewarding and if no better paid, at least is more worthwhile.

At my age, it is not going to be easy. And during a recession too??
My timing is rubbish.
Sacrifice.

Bring it on.