Little Lamb

Thats what my Dad called me as a child. Odd term of endearment but there you go. At what point or what age do you stop being their 'little lamb'?
I love my dad. He is the only one I have so I don't really have a choice. Sometimes he is thoughtful and kind and sometimes he hasn't got a clue. My dad doesn't understand emotion or feelings. He finds it hard when people cry. How he and my mum got together I will never know - they were so different in so many ways. My dad is logical and factual and opinionated and bigoted and my mum was emotional and arty and sensitive and compassionate and caring and kind.
My problem is my dad still thinks of me as his little lamb.

He doesn't try to understand me or support me . He doesn't 'get' the fact that I am a christian and refuses to come to church, even to set aside his atheist views for one day to come and listen while I sing, refusing to be there for me when I was made an Elder,even though he must have known how much that day meant to me, and how disappointed and sad I was that he didn't come. In fact noone came to support me that day.
All I really want is for my dad to be proud of me. To say 'well done' for something,anything I have done in my 51 years. That would mean so much to me. Much more than money could buy.
As my dad is not one to express feelings, I doubt I will ever hear those words.
As for my child, I am constantly surprised by his determination and have been so proud of him since the day he was born. And I tell him. Regularly.

We cannot choose our parents but we can learn from them. I am happy to express my feelings and to let others know how much they mean to me.



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